This last year of my life has had more ups and downs than I can count. Losing a loved one debilitates life. In a way my life slowed down, while the rest of the world still goes at full speed. Losing my mom affected me in more ways than I realized it would. I fell hard. The things that brought me pleasure I didn’t seem to have an interest in anymore. I went through the motions but I honestly don’t think I was living. I tried, but most days it was too hard to do anything other than work and take care of my son. I couldn’t even find comfort in reading.
As someone who is an avid reader, reading 100+ books a year it was hard to find comfort in the pages and words. I honestly felt like I have lost part of who I was and have been struggling to find a sense of that person again. About a week ago I woke up from a horrible sleep with the want and the need to read. Something that hasn’t happened in almost a year. I saw that as a very good sign. In the past week I had a wonderful meeting with some friends, I’ve read two books and when I wake up in the mornings I actually want to get out of bed.
The last couple of days I have been thinking hard. I have come to the conclusion that I am starting over. I’m taking control of myself, starting over and making things better for myself. It’s not like my life Is terrible, it just hasn’t been healthy for sometime. It’s time to get back to being happy and enjoying life. I will always miss my mom but it’s time to find a different way to channel the hurt.
Picking up a book and reading gave me a sense of peace that I haven’t felt in a very long time. So today August 1, 2018 I declare my starting over day. Today I make the conscious effort to make my days happier. To do more than just go through the motions. To enjoy life again, to the fullest extent that it can be. Whether they be simple pleasures or worldly goals today is the day I start making it happen.
Thank you for sticking with me and my sad blog for the last year. I promise the caffeinated spark of Coffee Books Life is coming back in full strength. My love of books and reading has never left me and I’m ready to again share the passion I have for reading romance. Romance reader and authors are some of the most wonderful people. Words can’t describe how grateful I am to be part of this community. No family.